Archive for May, 2012


A pregnant pause; breathe, risk, go forth

May 20, 2012

My blog has been resting as I’ve been metaphorically pregnant in my soul.

The force of emergence is growing stronger, requiring deep breathing and trust in the process.

In three weeks, I will be traveling to Colombia for a 5-week Spanish language and cultural immersion courtesy of a Jesuit university partnership. Three weeks ago, I first heard of this possibility.  South America and me.  It wasn’t on the ultrasound picture.

The day before I leave for Colombia is a special day – my 60th birthday. There. I said it out loud.  In the face of cultural ageism that would have me think life is ending.  Yet, here I am pregnant with new beginnings.

Nine months ago the labor began in earnest. I was unexpectedly tapped to teach a social justice course for university graduate students – with less than 2 weeks notice and while working full-time at my “day job.”  Although I’ve facilitated learning experiences in a variety of settings; the college classroom was a new venue and I was anxious and thrilled.

Breathe, risk, go forth. It was an amazing and exhausting experience – similar to my memories of being a new parent. Taking advice, trusting the process, trusting myself. I’m teaching again this quarter and the labor is speeding up.

I’m reconsidering ministry in a different form. My aging parents may move in with us. My son and his wife will be giving birth to our first grandchild in December.

Meister Eckhart tells us, “From all eternity God lies on a maternity bed giving birth.  The essence of God is birthing.”

I am taking a pregnant pause from my blog. I will be back, perhaps greeting you in Spanish. I will be a different person; the birth more fully realized.

In the meantime, I hope you are experiencing a pregnancy, readying you for some new birth in your life.

Breathe, risk, go forth.